Last-Minute Shopper
I hope that everyone had a spectacular Christmas. I am pretty sure that it is safe to say my whole family did. Now all we need to do is rest and recover!
Today is the annual British celebration of Boxing Day and also marks the beginning of Kwanzaa. Birthday wishes go out to Boston Red Sox Hall of Famer Carlton Fisk (1947) and American Idol contestant Chris Daughtry (1979).
I have never been known as someone who loves to celebrate the Christmas holiday. Too much commercialism and less of what the holiday truly means tends to bring me down. I do; however, enjoy making purchases for my loved ones. My biggest problem is that I always seem to procrastinate when it comes to purchasing gifts. Luckily, The School Girl is always on the ball.
This past Friday was going to be an extremely busy day. I did have the day off (one of my last two vacation days) and The School Girl had to work. This gave me my final opportunity to finish up shopping for her. I had several items in mind (mostly from the list that she made me…after Thanksgiving!). I drove the 30 + minutes from the ‘Burg to Cool Springs to fight the mob of other last-minute people at the mall. I managed to pick up an obscure Johnny Depp movie that she enjoys at the Wal-Mart but I was looking for bigger fish. Being the husband of a Gilmore Girls fanatic (and remember, I don’t watch it because I like it but because I’m forced to watch it…maybe that sounded believable), my wife enjoys owning each season on DVD. I knew that we had seasons 1, 2, 3 and 5. Yes, season 4 is missing. Last week I noticed a sign in the window of Suncoast Video. It felt like the angels were singing to me directly.
“All TV DVDs Buy One Get One Free!”
I pushed through the throng of people into the DVD emporium and began sifting through the many stacks of TV shows. I go through The O.C., Sanford And Son, Wonder Woman and finally Gilmore Girls! I remember that I need seasons 4 and 6 only. I notice that they have displayed on the front table (below the wonderful sign) seasons 1-3 and season 5. CRAP! I decide to traipse further into the establishment and find the wall of TV DVD collections. How lucky was I that they still had 2 copies of season 4? I snatched one up immediately.
I spoke with one of the two working employees to discover that they were out of season 6. As a replacement, I decided to go with The O.C. season 1. I was very proud of myself. I could actually feel the grin growing across my face as I stood in the ever lengthening checkout line. I was fine with the wait because I was jamming the latest Tesla CD on my new cell phone. This also prevented the dregs of society from feeling the need to strike up a conversation with me as we wait together in the line.
Finally, it was my turn to check out. I placed my wares upon the counter and reached for my wallet. The sales girl (who happens to be the manager) asked me an odd question. “Does the person you are buying the Gilmore Girls need this season specifically?” I told her that I indeed did choose the correct season for my lovely wife. “That’s too bad because seasons 1, 2 and 3 are buy one, get one free.”
”EXCUSE ME!?”
Apparently, my selection was not considered part of the “all” in the sign in the front window. She proceeded to inform me that “select” items were in the buy one, get one free deal. At this moment, I snapped! Bad word this, cuss word that, why was season 5 on your specially set up table, blah blah blah, G-Damn, F-ing store. Piece of shiatsu (massage)…anyways, I was angry.
This woman then had the gall to ask me if I still wanted to purchase The O.C. DVD! I wouldn’t buy anything from this place until after Jesus returns. Okay, so maybe I overreacted but when a store falsely advertises and won’t honor their mistakes, I tend to get a little red!
At this point, I needed to try and relax and decided a trip to the lavatory on the other side of the mall would do the trick. This mall is fully outfitted with the latest in bathroom technology. Self-flushing toilets, knob-less faucets and even automatic paper towel dispensers! After doing my business, I washed my hands per normal and proceeded to wave my hands in front of the paper towel dispenser’s sensor. I heard the motor start up but nothing came out. I peered into the mechanical box and saw that it was out of towels! Why is this happening to me? I spun around to see that they had the hands-free air blowers to dry your hands…out of order. I was relegated to wiping my hands upon my Levi’s and growling at other mall patrons.
Regardless of the set backs, I managed to visit a few other stores and finish the majority of my shopping agenda without too many mishaps. I have decided that I will have ALL of my Christmas shopping completed by the second week of December in the future so that I don’t accidentally kill any clerks.
Today is the annual British celebration of Boxing Day and also marks the beginning of Kwanzaa. Birthday wishes go out to Boston Red Sox Hall of Famer Carlton Fisk (1947) and American Idol contestant Chris Daughtry (1979).
I have never been known as someone who loves to celebrate the Christmas holiday. Too much commercialism and less of what the holiday truly means tends to bring me down. I do; however, enjoy making purchases for my loved ones. My biggest problem is that I always seem to procrastinate when it comes to purchasing gifts. Luckily, The School Girl is always on the ball.
This past Friday was going to be an extremely busy day. I did have the day off (one of my last two vacation days) and The School Girl had to work. This gave me my final opportunity to finish up shopping for her. I had several items in mind (mostly from the list that she made me…after Thanksgiving!). I drove the 30 + minutes from the ‘Burg to Cool Springs to fight the mob of other last-minute people at the mall. I managed to pick up an obscure Johnny Depp movie that she enjoys at the Wal-Mart but I was looking for bigger fish. Being the husband of a Gilmore Girls fanatic (and remember, I don’t watch it because I like it but because I’m forced to watch it…maybe that sounded believable), my wife enjoys owning each season on DVD. I knew that we had seasons 1, 2, 3 and 5. Yes, season 4 is missing. Last week I noticed a sign in the window of Suncoast Video. It felt like the angels were singing to me directly.
I pushed through the throng of people into the DVD emporium and began sifting through the many stacks of TV shows. I go through The O.C., Sanford And Son, Wonder Woman and finally Gilmore Girls! I remember that I need seasons 4 and 6 only. I notice that they have displayed on the front table (below the wonderful sign) seasons 1-3 and season 5. CRAP! I decide to traipse further into the establishment and find the wall of TV DVD collections. How lucky was I that they still had 2 copies of season 4? I snatched one up immediately.
I spoke with one of the two working employees to discover that they were out of season 6. As a replacement, I decided to go with The O.C. season 1. I was very proud of myself. I could actually feel the grin growing across my face as I stood in the ever lengthening checkout line. I was fine with the wait because I was jamming the latest Tesla CD on my new cell phone. This also prevented the dregs of society from feeling the need to strike up a conversation with me as we wait together in the line.
Finally, it was my turn to check out. I placed my wares upon the counter and reached for my wallet. The sales girl (who happens to be the manager) asked me an odd question. “Does the person you are buying the Gilmore Girls need this season specifically?” I told her that I indeed did choose the correct season for my lovely wife. “That’s too bad because seasons 1, 2 and 3 are buy one, get one free.”
”EXCUSE ME!?”
Apparently, my selection was not considered part of the “all” in the sign in the front window. She proceeded to inform me that “select” items were in the buy one, get one free deal. At this moment, I snapped! Bad word this, cuss word that, why was season 5 on your specially set up table, blah blah blah, G-Damn, F-ing store. Piece of shiatsu (massage)…anyways, I was angry.
This woman then had the gall to ask me if I still wanted to purchase The O.C. DVD! I wouldn’t buy anything from this place until after Jesus returns. Okay, so maybe I overreacted but when a store falsely advertises and won’t honor their mistakes, I tend to get a little red!
At this point, I needed to try and relax and decided a trip to the lavatory on the other side of the mall would do the trick. This mall is fully outfitted with the latest in bathroom technology. Self-flushing toilets, knob-less faucets and even automatic paper towel dispensers! After doing my business, I washed my hands per normal and proceeded to wave my hands in front of the paper towel dispenser’s sensor. I heard the motor start up but nothing came out. I peered into the mechanical box and saw that it was out of towels! Why is this happening to me? I spun around to see that they had the hands-free air blowers to dry your hands…out of order. I was relegated to wiping my hands upon my Levi’s and growling at other mall patrons.
Regardless of the set backs, I managed to visit a few other stores and finish the majority of my shopping agenda without too many mishaps. I have decided that I will have ALL of my Christmas shopping completed by the second week of December in the future so that I don’t accidentally kill any clerks.
posted by LeBlanc at 11:04 AM
2 Comments:
Silly boy! Have I taught you nothing! Always let the women do the shopping. You know they want to. If you must do it, do it on-line or get a gift card. This works great for women because then they get to go shopping again!. You know they want to. While I commend you for your efforts at putting thought into the gift, STOP IT! You're making the rest of us look bad.
Ahhhhhh!!! Uncle Griz, that hurts.
sg
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