Beware Of Stripper
This date in 1963 saw the United Kingdom grant independence to Kenya. I doubt that there will be hotdogs and apple pie, but maybe lots of coffee drinking (one of their major exports…look it up if you don’t believe me).
Disclaimer: Anyone under the age of 18 or who is my mom may not wish to read this story. You have been warned.
Several years ago, prior to meeting The School Girl, I was hanging out a little with a good buddy of mine, Jace of Ace. Jace and I had several things in common, one of which was that we worked together. One Sunday evening I trekked across L.A. (Lower Antioch) over to his apartment to just chill as neither of us had anything to do or any dating prospects at the time.
If I am not mistaken, we spent the first part of our evening watching home movies. Now, these aren’t your typical home movies. Old Jace and his crew make films. Mostly they are zombie flicks but hey, who doesn’t love a good zombie movie. I also let him get his kicks by having him show me his “killer clown” movies since he knows that clowns are the devil to me!
Eventually, we bored of this and of playing Sega Dreamcast (yes, he is the one who bought the Dreamcast) so we decided that we should go to a “gentleman’s club”. Normally, this is going to be a poor decision and this night was one of those poor decisions. First of all, I was flat broke and I informed Jace of this regularly occurring scenario. He rebuffed by stating he believe he had enough funds to cover me. Well I couldn’t really turn down such a selfless act, could I? I didn’t.
So the decision was final and we jumped in the Jace’s fire engine red LeBaron and cruised to downtown Nash-Vegas to Déjà Vu where there are hundreds of beautiful women and three ugly ones. It was obvious that on Sunday evenings the three ugly ones are on duty.
We were able to get a front table due to the lack of customers. Sunday nights do not seem to bring out the perv crowd (unless you counted Jace and me, that is). Jace, being the veteran that he was knew these nights were a good time to visit nudie bars. The girls, hot for cash, would spend more time “entertaining” the guys when it was slow.
We had not so much as lit our first cigarettes when a mostly naked young lady sauntered over to the table. I remember only a few details about this one particular girl but the details I do remember are quite vivid. What stood out right away were her tattoos. She had many of them covering her arms and back and her breasts. Another of her attributes were her many piercings. It read like a laundry list of body parts when pointing out the metallic accoutrements: ears, nose, eyebrow, belly button, nipples and the finale…multiple piercings in her private areas! She was very proud of these as she kept…ahem…”opening the barn doors” (if you will) so that we could see the metal studs!
It was about that time the stripper decided to get extra friendly with me. She was hovering over me shaking herself like trying to get peaches out of a tree. Her octopus-like hands were groping things that she had no business (legally or personally) getting near. Out of fairness she decided to give Jace equal treatment which led to the most memorable part of the evening. I watched her reach down to Mr. Ace’s groin area and begin to latch onto his privates. She believed that she had a hold of the “frank” but the blood curdling yelp from my friend said that she had gotten the “beans”.
“YEEEEEOOOOWWWWW!” was all he could say as he did his best to maneuver his junk away from the vice-like grip of the exotic dancer. She, still not realizing she grabbed his marble bag, thought that he was afraid or just a sissy. Jace walked with a bit of a limp for the rest of the evening.
All in all, it was a very educational trip as Jace taught me the proper practice of folding a dollar bill in order for the girls to remove it from your fingers with their boobs; however, I am pretty sure (at least for this one night) that he wished the 3 foot rule that is currently in place was applicable back then.
Maybe we should have just stayed home and played Madden 2001 and threw back some brews, after all.
Disclaimer: Anyone under the age of 18 or who is my mom may not wish to read this story. You have been warned.
Several years ago, prior to meeting The School Girl, I was hanging out a little with a good buddy of mine, Jace of Ace. Jace and I had several things in common, one of which was that we worked together. One Sunday evening I trekked across L.A. (Lower Antioch) over to his apartment to just chill as neither of us had anything to do or any dating prospects at the time.
If I am not mistaken, we spent the first part of our evening watching home movies. Now, these aren’t your typical home movies. Old Jace and his crew make films. Mostly they are zombie flicks but hey, who doesn’t love a good zombie movie. I also let him get his kicks by having him show me his “killer clown” movies since he knows that clowns are the devil to me!
Eventually, we bored of this and of playing Sega Dreamcast (yes, he is the one who bought the Dreamcast) so we decided that we should go to a “gentleman’s club”. Normally, this is going to be a poor decision and this night was one of those poor decisions. First of all, I was flat broke and I informed Jace of this regularly occurring scenario. He rebuffed by stating he believe he had enough funds to cover me. Well I couldn’t really turn down such a selfless act, could I? I didn’t.
So the decision was final and we jumped in the Jace’s fire engine red LeBaron and cruised to downtown Nash-Vegas to Déjà Vu where there are hundreds of beautiful women and three ugly ones. It was obvious that on Sunday evenings the three ugly ones are on duty.
We were able to get a front table due to the lack of customers. Sunday nights do not seem to bring out the perv crowd (unless you counted Jace and me, that is). Jace, being the veteran that he was knew these nights were a good time to visit nudie bars. The girls, hot for cash, would spend more time “entertaining” the guys when it was slow.
We had not so much as lit our first cigarettes when a mostly naked young lady sauntered over to the table. I remember only a few details about this one particular girl but the details I do remember are quite vivid. What stood out right away were her tattoos. She had many of them covering her arms and back and her breasts. Another of her attributes were her many piercings. It read like a laundry list of body parts when pointing out the metallic accoutrements: ears, nose, eyebrow, belly button, nipples and the finale…multiple piercings in her private areas! She was very proud of these as she kept…ahem…”opening the barn doors” (if you will) so that we could see the metal studs!
It was about that time the stripper decided to get extra friendly with me. She was hovering over me shaking herself like trying to get peaches out of a tree. Her octopus-like hands were groping things that she had no business (legally or personally) getting near. Out of fairness she decided to give Jace equal treatment which led to the most memorable part of the evening. I watched her reach down to Mr. Ace’s groin area and begin to latch onto his privates. She believed that she had a hold of the “frank” but the blood curdling yelp from my friend said that she had gotten the “beans”.
“YEEEEEOOOOWWWWW!” was all he could say as he did his best to maneuver his junk away from the vice-like grip of the exotic dancer. She, still not realizing she grabbed his marble bag, thought that he was afraid or just a sissy. Jace walked with a bit of a limp for the rest of the evening.
All in all, it was a very educational trip as Jace taught me the proper practice of folding a dollar bill in order for the girls to remove it from your fingers with their boobs; however, I am pretty sure (at least for this one night) that he wished the 3 foot rule that is currently in place was applicable back then.
Maybe we should have just stayed home and played Madden 2001 and threw back some brews, after all.
posted by LeBlanc at 10:48 AM
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