Maybe I’ll need the Metamucil and Depends sooner than I thought!
Happy Unity Day for the ever united Russian Federation.

I had a revelation the other day. Maybe it was an epiphany or just a major life changing thought that crossed my mind. Regardless, the proverbial light bulb went off over my head as I have come to grips with my mortality and my apparent rapid aging. Some people make this observation later in life, as I am only 32 years old. Usually, it is some life altering event that sparks the thoughts of impending doom. I, of course, am not your normal or usual character. My realization that I am getting old and will eventually die was made by just listening to the radio. Not just any radio station, mind you, but the oldies station.

When I was a child growing up in Massachusetts and New Hampshire, I remember being forced to suffer through car rides with my parents and having to listen to the local oldies station. Don’t get me wrong, my parents would vary the stations from time to time but the oldies station sticks out in my mind particularly due to the fact that I HATE THIS STATION. Many of you who are around my age will recall with utter disdain how the oldies were artists that would include the following cast of characters: Dion and the Belmonts, Chubby Checker, Bill Haley and his Comets, and my personal fave Dianna Ross and the Supremes. Words cannot fully express the depth of my hatred for this music or anything remotely similar to doo-wop! This disdain for all music that is 50’s sounding is a pure hatred that I fully expect to drag with me to my grave.

Fast-forward to today. The train is now pushing into the station for the final leg of 2006. The New Year Baby 2007 is considering sticking his little head out as Mother Nature prays for an epidural. Anyone who has been in Nashville for any amount of time during the past 200 years (ok, maybe only 35) is familiar with the radio DJ Coyote McCloud. Coyote is the guy who was playing this doo-wop crap back when it was new and has bounced around the Nashville radio scene ever since. Coyote is a staple at the local oldies stations including the current incarnation of Oldies 97. It occurred to me that while zipping through my presets on my car radio way down on the end, 97.1 was programmed in. This is impossible really. I NEVER would degrade myself and lower my coolness factor, if you will, by listening to the oldies station. I inadvertently left it on there the other day and to my surprise, the normal drivel that I associate with the oldies has been replaced. Yes, you guessed correctly…replaced with music that I enjoy! Holy crap! My head was spinning. I’m still in utter disbelief at this point.

The Platters and Four Tops have been replaced by REO Speedwagon, Tommy Tutone, Greg Kihn and Bon Jovi. I won’t even mention Night Ranger or Winger. Yeah that’s right. I am a child of the 80’s and I won’t apologize for it. My mother’s oldies have been replaced by my childhood music scene. This was a staggering blow to my youth. A co-worker the other day was singing out loud many songs from my youth and realized that these songs were very much in the oldies mentality for her. Friends In Low Places by Garth Brooks (yes, Garth, your 4 cents are in the mail for mentioning your name in print) was being belted out by my young cohort and it brought back many memories. I remembered in high school attending pep rallies for out lowly, lackluster football team, the Mount Juliet Golden Bears. We would start off many a pep rally with AC/DC’s Back In Black to stir us up and end with the feel good Garth Brooks drinking song. Very appropriate for 16 year old rednecks, I might add. Well my friends, this song was very popular back then…1990! Ok so that doesn’t seem too bad until, we do the math. Holy MC Hammer, Batman that was almost 17 years ago! I then started running through my catalog of totally awesome bands from those many eons ago: Pearl Jam, Skid Row, Alice In Chains, Metallica. Oh, say it ain’t so, Young MC. I’m friggin' old. Sure the jokes by my friends who are still in diapers have always just bounced off of my gray head and wrinkly skin but I never really took it as Gospel. Well, my fellow geriatrics, the final nail in the proverbial coffin is this…seven short days from today, my son (Little Harry Potter as my co-workers call him) will turn 13 years young. That would be a teenager. I will be the father of a teenage boy! That is it. My life is over. Honey pass me the prunes, I think I’m having a stroke. I’ll be dancing with that old lady ghost who lives in my house for real pretty soon. I hope that I can learn the Charleston. Damn you Coyote McCloud, damn you!


I had a revelation the other day. Maybe it was an epiphany or just a major life changing thought that crossed my mind. Regardless, the proverbial light bulb went off over my head as I have come to grips with my mortality and my apparent rapid aging. Some people make this observation later in life, as I am only 32 years old. Usually, it is some life altering event that sparks the thoughts of impending doom. I, of course, am not your normal or usual character. My realization that I am getting old and will eventually die was made by just listening to the radio. Not just any radio station, mind you, but the oldies station.

When I was a child growing up in Massachusetts and New Hampshire, I remember being forced to suffer through car rides with my parents and having to listen to the local oldies station. Don’t get me wrong, my parents would vary the stations from time to time but the oldies station sticks out in my mind particularly due to the fact that I HATE THIS STATION. Many of you who are around my age will recall with utter disdain how the oldies were artists that would include the following cast of characters: Dion and the Belmonts, Chubby Checker, Bill Haley and his Comets, and my personal fave Dianna Ross and the Supremes. Words cannot fully express the depth of my hatred for this music or anything remotely similar to doo-wop! This disdain for all music that is 50’s sounding is a pure hatred that I fully expect to drag with me to my grave.

Fast-forward to today. The train is now pushing into the station for the final leg of 2006. The New Year Baby 2007 is considering sticking his little head out as Mother Nature prays for an epidural. Anyone who has been in Nashville for any amount of time during the past 200 years (ok, maybe only 35) is familiar with the radio DJ Coyote McCloud. Coyote is the guy who was playing this doo-wop crap back when it was new and has bounced around the Nashville radio scene ever since. Coyote is a staple at the local oldies stations including the current incarnation of Oldies 97. It occurred to me that while zipping through my presets on my car radio way down on the end, 97.1 was programmed in. This is impossible really. I NEVER would degrade myself and lower my coolness factor, if you will, by listening to the oldies station. I inadvertently left it on there the other day and to my surprise, the normal drivel that I associate with the oldies has been replaced. Yes, you guessed correctly…replaced with music that I enjoy! Holy crap! My head was spinning. I’m still in utter disbelief at this point.

The Platters and Four Tops have been replaced by REO Speedwagon, Tommy Tutone, Greg Kihn and Bon Jovi. I won’t even mention Night Ranger or Winger. Yeah that’s right. I am a child of the 80’s and I won’t apologize for it. My mother’s oldies have been replaced by my childhood music scene. This was a staggering blow to my youth. A co-worker the other day was singing out loud many songs from my youth and realized that these songs were very much in the oldies mentality for her. Friends In Low Places by Garth Brooks (yes, Garth, your 4 cents are in the mail for mentioning your name in print) was being belted out by my young cohort and it brought back many memories. I remembered in high school attending pep rallies for out lowly, lackluster football team, the Mount Juliet Golden Bears. We would start off many a pep rally with AC/DC’s Back In Black to stir us up and end with the feel good Garth Brooks drinking song. Very appropriate for 16 year old rednecks, I might add. Well my friends, this song was very popular back then…1990! Ok so that doesn’t seem too bad until, we do the math. Holy MC Hammer, Batman that was almost 17 years ago! I then started running through my catalog of totally awesome bands from those many eons ago: Pearl Jam, Skid Row, Alice In Chains, Metallica. Oh, say it ain’t so, Young MC. I’m friggin' old. Sure the jokes by my friends who are still in diapers have always just bounced off of my gray head and wrinkly skin but I never really took it as Gospel. Well, my fellow geriatrics, the final nail in the proverbial coffin is this…seven short days from today, my son (Little Harry Potter as my co-workers call him) will turn 13 years young. That would be a teenager. I will be the father of a teenage boy! That is it. My life is over. Honey pass me the prunes, I think I’m having a stroke. I’ll be dancing with that old lady ghost who lives in my house for real pretty soon. I hope that I can learn the Charleston. Damn you Coyote McCloud, damn you!

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